Mercury finds herself at Doggie Styles

On a fateful morning last week I found myself shipped off to that location of fright repute: Doggie Styles. Head warden, Kelly, is a charming woman, talented, fun-loving and attractive, yet one who will never exceed her role as Groomer-in-Chief-of-Doggies. You can call it Doggie Styles or you can call it a dog's dread dream, it comes to the same thing. The photo is all the exhibit needed.

Shorn. Scalped. And threaded onto a long red rope. The result of a long day's journey culminates in what you see here.

Other dogs share the long day's journey. Some of them, frightening, some frightened, some alone in groomer land for the very first time, some old, wise and patient with experience.

To all I would counsel resignation. You will find your way to Doggie Styles. You will be bathed, blown and groomed. Dogs that you don't know will share these intimate rituals. Abandon hope but remember that this too shall pass.

After Kelly: beauty & terror

Kelly (see her pictured above with Virgil) is the proprietor/master stylist of Doggie Styles, the posh salon selected by Maman et Papa for my every 6-weekly grooming. Kelly combines the qualities of a good friend --sympathy, loyalty, brains, humor-- with the finely honed skills of a beauty specialist.

Every visit to Doggie Styles comprises a wealth of experiences: bathing, trimming, manicure, comraderie with dogs & people, etc. It all sounds grand.

However: in all honesty I have admittedly mixed feelings about the 6-weekly visit to Doggie Styles. Yes, I meet old and new friends as each of us endure our cleansing rituals. Yes, I learn & continue to hone my dog socialization skills. Yes, I emerge a cleaner & prettier dog. Yes, Kelly is a wonderful woman amongst women.

But suffice to say that for at least 5 days following my visit to Doggie Styles, terror grips me. Post-salon visit & after each successive early morning walk, I rush to the Roushanzamir house door begging to be let in and begging not to be thrust into the car with Papa who might, just might, drop me at Doggie Styles on his way to work. (If it can happen once, it can happen repeatedly.)

Finally (and it may seem contrarily), let it be said that I recommend Doggie Styles (as does Maman). If you long for a superior bathe & style, call Kelly and tell her Mercury really loves her & recommends her highly.

Doggie Styles Inc

2021 S Milledge Ave
Athens, GA 30605

(706) 546-5393‎

Witness The Absurd

I have donned a Santa hat, a pink boucle sweater, endured monthly visits to the beauty parlor [nothing against Kelly Noonan, truly a Master of Doggie Styles] and recently submitted to Mama's daily combings.

The picture at left, however, speaks for itself: the Absolute Limit.