Christmas Letter and Gift List 2016

Dearest, darling Santa!

First, thank you for agreeing to meet with me last week. We had a rewarding conversation and I'll just reiterate the salient points and clarify a few others.

Please remember that I've been ever so good this year. Any minor offenses are attributed to irresistible impulse (that's actually a defense to murder under the law) so they're really not my fault (if indeed I did them after all).

Also, take into consideration the wear and tear wrought by an extremely stressful election with dubious outcomes, hence the long list. I shall say no more about that.

With all due respect, love, and hope, my List:

---PetChatz:  a complete interactive and engagement audio/visual system that would let me press a button to ring Maman on her iphone so she can dispense treats and calming scents from wherever she might be (as well as engage in some idle chat)

---an iphone of my very own (I'm willing to take a 6S)

--Feliz Navidog Dog Tee (red)

--Burberry sweaters (2), a Burberry winter coat and a faux fur "puppy and me" scarf for dogs

--L.A. Dog Chevron Faux Fur Cuddle Donut Dog Bed

 --personalized Santa-belly gourmet cookie box

--Hugglehounds candy cane cuddle tuffet toy (the small size) & Hugglefleece Ball dog toy (small)

--2 Fiesta Petware bowls, one cobalt, one turquoise plus a Dog Bone Water Guard Rim place-mat (preferably personalized)

As you know, my friend, I always include a few requests for Maman et Papa. At this Noel, I shall keep those lists brief.

-------------------------------------

*Papa:

a set of real chef's knives

Maman:

iphone 7 (pink finish)

ipad Pro (9.7 inches, gold finish) & a Smart Cover (the Product (Red) color)

Woven Nylon Apple Watch band (the pink & gray color)

---------------------------------

Finally, my best pal, Santa, I hope you've rested well (and eaten and exercised properly) all year long so that your global quest to assure that all good boys and girls receive their gifts is not impeded by ill-health or exhaustion. To that end, I promise to leave some tasty treats for you (water to drink, you must stay hydrated).

As a special bonus this year---and in light of our misunderstanding in the previous year---I have a special gift for you. (it's a surprise -- open it only after you've delivered all the other gifts in every land in the world)

Again, with all due respect, love, and hope, your very best friend in the whole wide universe,

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

* This year papa graciously acceded to the girls of the household's many wishes, feeling that the only recently-past political season has been particularly hard on women; he asked me to make it crystal clear that he'll be completely satisfied with the requested set of real chef's knives.

I'm still here, Santa ;-)

Dear darling pal, Santa,

It's only 3 months 'til your big night. I've missed you ever so much over the last 9 months. Have you missed me too?

Here's a photo to remind you of me. Please take special note of my Christmas scarf and the halo of light surrounding me. 

I'll write again soon but, in the meantime, I hope you're well and happy. 

Love from your best friend, Mercury 

Rejoicing

Dearest Santa, I'm happy and proud that our friendship has been rejuvenated and, in fact, cemented by my (and your) successful Christmas season. Thank you ever so much for carefully studying my Christmas gift list and complying with my requests. You're my best pal ever and I love you, dear friend. Ever your appreciative and well behaved buddy, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir. (& thanks to Holly Brown for our portrait) 🎄😇🎅

Dear Santa (final chance)

Dear, darling, Santa!

A quick reminder that I've been good all year (don't count the times when an irresistible impulse may have briefly led me astray) and am therefore anxiously awaiting a resumption of the good fellow feelings--and gift-giving--that we shared in previously years (overlooking last year).

Here is my updated list (see previous post):

---Personalized Snowman Cookie tin full of treats--- the Large Size

---2 Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (1, Santa; 1, Snowman)

---A black skull & crossbones water bowl (please replace the pink scull & crossbones bowl; it really doesn't sent a coherent message)

---A green, white and red round chew bone

---An infinity scarf (unless you've already gotten me the ultrasoft alpaca hat in which case I'll take that)

---A Swiss music box

---And, if possible an iPhone 6s, a flat screen TV of my very own, or an iPad mini (newest)-- your choice of the three

In return, I promise to leave a hand-crafted mug brimming with the best milk (do you care for a dash of rum?), lots of home-baked cookies and your very own fruit cake to take home.

As always, darling Santa, I love you with all my heart.

Very sincerely yours, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

P.S. I love you Santa

Christmas Planning Earlier & even Earlier

Dearest Santa, my friend,

Last year you visited other boys and girls, dropping a bit of what might be called junk down my chimney. You didn't even stop off for milk and cookies.

However, what's past is past and I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

To help you prepare for This Year, I'm creating a preliminary list, What I Want for Christmas:

Your Choice:

--Treats, the large size

   a Personalized Snowman Cookie tin OR
   a Personalized Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box OR
   a Santa's sleigh filled with treats

--an Ultrasoft Alpaca Hat OR and infinity scarf

--a Fleece to waterproof reversible argyle jacket

--Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (prefer the Santa but the reindeer or snowman are acceptable)

--a skull & crossbones food bowl

--finally, and if at all possible, I still wish for an iPhone (6s) and a flat screen TV of my very own or an iPad mini (newest)

We had our differences in this past year but let's put that behind us. Our friendship is too long-term to allow one year's omissions to end it.

I promise to leave the best cookies plus some fruit cake (you & I know it's NOT a JOKE) and a hot beverage of your choice.

In the meantime, I hope you're well. Were your post-Christmas months relaxing?

Thinking of you as always, darling Santa, I remain your best friend in the whole wide universe (not just the galaxy & certainly not just the solar system),

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I will write you again to remind you of my requests and to add lists for Mama et Papa who have been ever so good all year long.

Friends and Cars

My dear and faithful fans,

If you read my previous entry, you'll know why it has been so long since I've put pen to paper (paws to keyboard). Yes, I was truly shocked that my pal Santa (my best pal, or so I thought) treated me dismissively (if not snubbed me altogether). However, we've passed the turning point, Santa has another chance to demonstrate his devotion, 5 months (and counting).

So, on to other matters.

Driving lessons were on my summer agenda. After years of total dependency in this car-dominated society, Papa agreed to teach me how to drive. And how absurdly simple it turned out to be; simply point and go.

Papa has promised to buy me a car of my very own! I've selected a Mini Cooper, the smallest size, preferably hunter green. And unlike Santa (pal that he has heretofore always been), I will get my car very shortly indeed-- certainly before University of Georgia--Athens classes start.

I can't say that Fall is in the air. To the contrary, hot and humid has been the story of the last 4 weeks and promises to by the sequel playing out over the next 4 weeks (and beyond?). But the start of university classes holds the promise of new comrades on the journey of knowledge pursuit. Who knows where that journey will lead. Please return soon.

As always, with gratitude for your readership. Please feel free to send your comments or questions. I promise to answer them all.

Your friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Santa: review of Christmtas 2014

Dear Santa,

I can only imagine that you were so busy in 2014 that you didn't have time to read my Christmas letter (see previous post).

I'll refrain from recriminations.

After due consideration, I've decided to be Good This Year trusting that you will indeed see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake. However, if Christmas 2015 is no more successful (from my point of view) than Christmas 2014, all bets are off. Not a threat, but certainly a promise.

So, hoping your Christmas was more rewarding than mine and, in light of our (previous) deep affection for each other, you remain my dearest pal, darling Santa.

Disappointed but affectionately yours, your friend Mercury

My Christmas letter, and accompanying list

Dear Santa,

Greetings, my very best friend. You must be busy getting ready for opening [and closing] night tomorrow. Trust you're in good health and super condition for all your hard work.

It may seem rather late, but knowing your infinite patience, I humbly submit my Christmas list for your consideration. [remuneration will be provided: Irish coffee with plum pudding was your request, as I recall]

Mercury's List [in no particular order]

flat screen TV that will fit in my little home

iPhone 6 in gold

iPad mini of my very own

tin of the fancy dog treats [large]

a circus costume [now that I've perfected my circus trick, I need a special costume, something sparkly and elegant, for auditions I've lined up]

a fine china dining set, preferably Lenox

2 Waterford goblets

5 small cloth balls in assorted colors

 Note: when you come I'll probably be sleeping. But feel free to wake me. Perhaps we'd have time for a chat over the coffee & plum pud. 

Maman's List [short but ambitious]

 She's still waiting for her 10ct emerald cut diamond ring set in platinum [at this point, she'd settle for 5]

AppleWatch, preferably in 18ct rose gold with the red leather band

Papa's List [Since he received his Mercedes in 2013, his list is modest]

socks and t-shirts should suffice

Thank you so much for bringing all my toys and treats and for any consideration you can extend to Maman and Papa as well.

I love you so much and always will. I miss you all year 'round. I behave very well indeed, I'm good, not naughty [hardly ever]. I hope I catch you as you slip down our chimney but I go to bed early [in that home that lacks only 1 thing, a flat screen TV].

Perhaps one of these years, you can visit me off-season. I'll show you a great time in Athens, GA, treat you to some meals, share my toys, etc.

Sending you very very very much love and all good wishes for your Christmas Eve trip and that you enjoy health, happiness and peace in 2015.

Love from your best friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Mercury's Christmas Letter to Santa, 2013

 

Dearest, darling, Santa,

    

-->     I am distressed to compose my letter at this time  when I am driving Maman to distraction with my bad behavior and just at the time when she has a few precious weeks off from her highly demanding job. I trust you will not hold it against me and not measure the dog by the behavior of a few weeks.

     This has been a harrowing year as well: I was attacked by my neighbor Chad, a large (intimidating) Chow mix. My injuries were slight but it was necessary to be driven to the doggie ER and to visit my regular doctor on Monday. Blood was drawn! Papa and Maman valiantly leapt to my aid-- Papa scooping me and Maman putting herself between Chad and Papa. In any case, that's all in the past. Chad's Mom was so kind to me and I've forgiven him; it's really not his fault.

     And in general, over the course of the last 12 months, I have tried to be as good as possible, helping Maman with her work, serving as sous-chef for Papa, cleaning my own home and suffering clothing willingly if not gladly.

     Plus, you are my very best friend. I love you more than anyone and I've missed you all year long.  Therefore, I'm hoping you'll forgive my lapses and leave me the following gifts:

Mercury's Christmas List

1 Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box

Peanut Butter Madness & Personalized Tote

New & pretty water bowl, preferably a 2-cup jewel tone pedestal bowl

Personalized Sequined Reindeer Tee (this to make Maman happy: note this example of good behavior)

A TV and a smart phone (preferably iPhone 5s) of my very own

A Furby (purple)

For Maman:

Old Gringoembroidered Jasmine 10" boots

For Papa:

Maman and I agree that his Mercedes (E-series, over 300-horse power, polar white with two sun roofs and satellite connection) is gift enough for 1 year (possibly more?--just a suggestion; you're the expert).  If you feel especially well disposed to Papa, he does need a new pair of socks.

     As you can see, our requests are modest this year. I am truly sorry for my bad behavior. If you only leave coal for me, I'll understand.  But please don't punish Maman for my sins. She did her best and I hope you'll leave those Old Gringo boots for her.

     Well, my darling friend, that's all for now. Is there anything that you'd like me to give you? The traditional milk and cookies? A large bowl of caviar and toast? A new suit?

     Very truly yours, with love, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir!

PS: you can visit me and even stay for a few days. I'd be happy and honored to share my own little home. I expect that you'd like a break from the exertions of this Christmas season (I hope I'll have a TV and smart phone by that time; I'll share them with you.)

Another PS: I promise to be nicer to Kelly Noonan who after all is a wonderful groomer. Perhaps you could bring some  furniture or decorations for her luxurious new location: Doggie Styles. (note, another example of good behavior)

Blessings on my Birthday

Today is my 8th birthday.  This certificate outlines my lineage for three generations and shows that I am a rainbow mix of red, apricot and brown toy poodles.

As an aside, you, my faithful fans, know of my ultra close friendship with Santa. In pursuing knowledge of my ancestry, I've learned that my biological father and mother also enjoyed a special bond with the Man: note, their names are recorded as Saint Nicholas and Christmas Day.  Sycophantic names, indeed; but one can't choose one's family. As you know, my own abiding friendship with Santa relies on our bond of mutual respect, admiration & liking. (type Santa is the blog search bar to locate entries about our long-term relationship)

In any case, although today is my birthday, I've received no (almost no) presents. I was expecting 8, one to commemorate each year of my life. Since it's still early in the day, I've decided to post my wish list. You still have about 18 shopping hours remaining:

List of 8 possibles for Mercury's birthday gifts, 2013

A doggie cam (to hang on my collar and record events at my eye level)

A flat TV of my very own

A smart phone, iphone preferred but will accept Galaxy

A huge basket of doggie treats

Real doggie ice cream

A bone  pattern QR Tag

A Crypton Dog Earred Mess Mat

A little baby brother or little baby sister, toy or miniature French poodle, preferably red, apricot, brown or white with apricot ears

Pictured here is the one gift I did receive. Maman and Papa presented me with:   

A leather collar with a diamond and platinum charm in the shape of a Mercedes logo. Needless to say, I was dumb-founded when I opened the package. A collar (symbol of oppression), a Mercedes logo (symbol of rapacious capitalism): no food, no toy, no electronics, not even a fashionable t-shirt.

I won't say this is the worst birthday ever. I won't say I'm ungrateful for what I have received this day (food to eat, a place to sleep, a very brief walk). I won't say I'm counting on you, my fans, to resurrect this day from the doldrums to a very happy birthday high.

All I shall say is: joyeux anniversaire to me!

Dear Santa, 2011

Dearest, darling Santa!

It's that time of the year again, time for good little doggies to be properly rewarded for their long, hard year of good behavior. Have I been naughty? No. Have I been nice? But, of course. Did I shred Maman's framed poster from London? Can I plead the 5th; after all, many of the best have.

Santa, you know how much I love you. You are friend, mentor, companion. You, at the North Pole, me at the South, we share a special bond. Often I say to myself: Santa is my best friend ever.

Well, lets get down to brass tacks. Here are the items I hope to receive from you this Christmas.

Mercury's Christmas List:

1.antler chews (the antlers fall off reindeer naturally, so don't worry about your helpers)

2. Hide 'em & Find 'em plush global balls puzzle (this IQ toy is green & blue, and each ball and the larger ball they fit into are colored green and blue like the earth. I wouldn't even ask for it if it weren't that my IQ is high enough to meet the challenge.)

3. a new bowl for my food. (Dining is always a pleasure, but think how much fun it would be if I had the appropriate china and flatware.)

4. a Burberry sweater (cashmere preferred).

5. An "I'm Beggin Ya Treat Box" (the big size)

6. a Vintage Reindeer Toy (really for Maman; she's beginning to prefer vintage; between us, we know that that signifies.)

7. a Sugar Lips Monkey Toy. (for tossing & killing when the mood strikes)


Because I'm so well behaved and unselfish I annually include some suggestions for what Maman et Papa hope to find under the Yuletide tree. They have been good though one cannot say excellent. In any case, they have not been naughty. I'm confidant you'll extend your bounty to them as well.

Papa:

He's still waiting for that Mercedes. He prefers black with the gun sight logo standing high.

New thick warm socks.

A t-shirt with a doggie logo.

Some doggie pj/s.

A board game we can play together.

Maman:

She's still waiting for that 10 ct. emerald cut diamond set solo in platinum.

New thick warm socks.

A gray & pink turtle neck sweater that zips into a v-neck sweater.

A trip to England.

A trip to Hawaii.

As a token of my appreciation, I will leave you some milk and an entire bowl full of my healthful & delicious food. It will make a welcome break from all those cookies which, in any case, are not good for your waistline.

Dearest darling Santa, I love you so much. I can hardly express how much I look forward to your yearly visits and how I value the gifts you give me. Perhaps this year you could also leave a personal letter, addressed to me. My reading skills are as advanced as my writing skills and I will not share your letter unless I have written permission from you to do so. But OH, how I would treasure such a letter; I would keep it in my little home which is entirely private and I would read it every evening before I fell asleep. Or consider visiting me during the off months. You are welcome to sleep in my home and we can play games and read with a flashlight after lights are supposed to be out.

Dear darling Santa, I hope you have a great, safe Christmas eve and visit all the deserving children & doggies in the whole world. My wish for your Christmas day is that it's joyous, full of tasty treats and sweet surprises.

Ever your very best friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir
(I wanted to include my personal email address but Maman won't let me have one)

P.S. I'd also like a TV for my very own and an iphone like Maman's. (and a personal email address)

Thank You, Darling Santa

Dear, Darling Santa,

I hope you're not too tired to read my letter. Perhaps it's a bit overdue but I figure you might have needed a long nap after your arduous Christmas Eve. I tried so hard to stay awake that night so that I could join you as you drank the milk +brandy concoction and ate the delicious cookies. (Below is a picture to remind you of that night and of the delicious cookies; perhaps you'll want to visit me again soon.)

While I did not receive all the gifts I asked for, I was satisfied with my treat filled personalized pail, my argyle leash, a couple of balls to chase, gourmet treats to eat and a sturdy bone to chew. (Below are pictures)

Papa did not fare so well. He received a book titled A Butler's Guide to Gentlemen's Grooming and another, Porters English Cookery Bible (written by Richard, Earl of Bradford). Maman gave him a stress-relieving Adipose (a wicked alien encountered during the time travels of Dr. Who) which he disliked very much and which Maman immediately took back. Luckily, Papa bought himself an all-cotton scarf and a pair of Gap jeans. And after this blaze of infamy, he was happy to open a bottle of Glenmorangie. Perhaps friend Santa if you visit us (very) soon, he will share with you.

Maman did not receive a shopping spree in the London Burberry store, but she did open a beautifully wrapped package containing a Burberry Brit jacket. And another equally lovely package revealed sweet smelling perfume. The 8-10 carat emerald cut diamond ring set in platinum will have to wait til next year.

I know you see me all the time, when I'm awake and when I'm asleep, so perhaps you saw this: Maman downloaded a pop-up book on her birthday iPad titled The Night Before Christmas. Have you read that? It's all about a guy like you. He looks like you. He gives gifts like you. And, he says, "Ho Ho Ho." Just like you!

So darling Santa, primarily thanks to you I spent a wonderful Christmas. I was happy to learn at Christmas dinner that you visited the highly deserving Pam, Sophie, and Lily too. Next to me, they were probably the best behaved girls in Athens. Plus they set a beautiful holiday table, loaded with festive foods, and welcome me with open loving arms.

I hope you'll call me a few times during the year; we can exchange funny stories and maybe plan to meet somewhere. If that's not possible, I'll (hopefully) see you next Christmas Eve.

Love from the best behaved doggie ever, Mercury

My Christmas Letter 2010

Dear Darling Santa,

I hope this finds you as it leaves me: very well behaved indeed.

Yes, I've been ever so good this year. I don't shiver when I have to go to Doggie Styles. I brush my teeth daily. I never sneak into the bathroom where the toilet paper roll is left unattended (well, hardly ever). I don't beg for food (honesty compels me to add that Papa keeps me well fed, no need to beg). I bark at bad guys & I allow little children to pet me. I haven't pouted or cried. I've been a good helper all year long. For example, I guarded the next door neighbors' house when they were out of town. I taught Mama how to use her new favorite computer gadget, Dropbox. I picked up after myself. I behaved unselfishly -- as proof see the lists below for Maman et Papa; these I made up myself which shows that I take others into consideration & have empathy for their needs and desires.

All that being said, and as you can see from the photo above, I am looking for you every day and hoping that I'll see you soon. I will leave out some milk & cookies, the milk laced with brandy for it is now quite cold in Athens and your open sleigh isn't the best vehicle for winter traveling.

Here is my list:

my own TV set with remote control & wifi connection

new microfiber suede bed for my home (preferably red)

high IQ interactive puzzle doggie toys and

a Dog Dizzy interactive toy

an India rubber ball (also preferably, red)

an argyle sweater (pinks & browns)

a personalized small toy bucket

Papa's list:

a vintage Alpha Romeo (preferably champagne color)

non-stick skillet

2 or 3 good books

Gap jeans

Ray-Ban prescription sun glasses

Maman's list:

a 10-carat diamond ring set in platinum

Chanel perfume (the large size)

Shopping spree at Burberry's in London

jar of caviar (the large size)

Dear, darling Santa. I love you so much. You are my very best friend. Please bring all these items to our house on Christmas Eve!

Lots of love, your good friend Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: Here is a present for you, Dear Santa. It is an enhanced photo that I created all by myself. If you like, you can take it with you on your flight around the world on Christmas Eve. It'll be good company for you. Love, again Mercury

Hiatus

As all my actor friends know, we describe our time between gigs as resting. And resting is what I've been doing since my last blog entry.

Attribute it to the hot & humid weather, the absence of 30,000+ college students, or merely a general malaise, I've not felt the energy nor the desire to update my blog.

But as the fall weather blew into Athens (and all those students rematerialized turning my street into a parking lot once more), I realized how terribly selfish I've been.

To you, my faithful fans & friends, I offer a humble apology. I'm sorry that I've let you down. To my grandparents, who are probably my least critical readers, a special word of thanks for your patience.

This fall I shall be exploring the world of creative arts, mine and others. Look for my first project, coming soon: a collage the subject of which is humans in a dog's world. My 2nd project, also in the works, dovetails nicely with the collage since it explores the same topic through the genre of poetry.

I hope this long hiatus will not deter you from checking back from time to time. I promise to share my newly rediscovered creative productivity throughout the fall season & culminating with my very favorite holiday. Christmas! When once again Santa will read my letter & grace my home with his presence. And presents.

Dear Friends & Fans & Darling Santa,

I must admit that I've made grievous errors. First and foremost, I did not write a thank you letter to Santa. What must I have been thinking of?! What disgrace have I brought down, on myself, my family, and generations to come. Even maman posted Facebook photos of the gifts I received (& had asked for) for Christmas.

But my punishment is swift and sure. Valentine's Day arrives within 2 weeks. But doggie Valentine's Day pictures appointments can be scheduled starting next Friday. Next Friday! Doubtless, the photographer will have pink and red heart fluffy necklaces or hats or back-drops. Maman has already explored the options and located a photographer's lair within a mile of our home.

To my friends and fans, but in particular to my darling Santa who granted every wish, accept my deepest apologies for the hubris and lack of loving-kindness with which I have acted, and please send messages to maman to spare me the indignities of doggie Valentine's Day portraits.

Dear Santa!

Dearest, darling Santa,

How are you these days? I am fine and furthermore I am very good indeed. In the spirit of the season and to be perfectly honest I will list my good & bad behaviors over the course of 2009. You can be the judge as to whether my Christmas wishes--also listed below--will be fulfilled.

On the bad side: one or two infractions must be admitted, to wit: occasional paper eating, but it's really not my fault. Papa leaves his newsletters in tempting, easy-to-reach places. And sometimes Maman forgets to close the bathroom gate, thus permitting access to wonderful, marvelous toilet paper. What fun that is, to pull it round and round, draping it over carpets and furniture until the roll is finally all used up. But, I digress. And is it my fault if I assume that a chair pushed out at the dining table is meant for me to sit on? Finally, and perhaps worst, I'll admit to a couple (well, 3) tiny accidents indoors. But can something called an accident be considered "bad behavior?" I don't think so.

My Very Good Behavior: first I've followed your advice-- I don't shout, I don't cry, I don't pout. Ever. I'm not a picky eater. I go to bed on time. I defend the house, and Maman & Papa, vigorously. I allow Maman to put sweaters and coats and dresses on me no matter when or why. I behave graciously to guests, both dog and human. I share my toys. I have learned to follow some new commands. I always bring joy and love into the lives of Maman & Papa. I could proffer many other examples of my good behavior, both waking & sleeping, but I know you see me and frankly that you already know that I've been good, for goodness sake. So, now my list of Christmas gifts, best first, then in descending order.

For Mercury:

--Microsuede Cozy Cave in red

--a Crypton Throw pillow in papaya

--an ARFgyle bone, Christmas version

--a Pine o' Plenty interactive toy

--a Barker's Bounty Gift Bucket (small dog size)

--a 6" retro Santa toy which will remind me of you all year long

--a car seat (don't worry about this one, Santa; Maman insisted I include it on my list)

Because I am such a very very good doggie, I've agreed to include Papa's and Maman's lists too.

For Papa:

--a Mercedes (the bigger, the better and fully loaded) Please note that Papa asked for this last year to no avail. I attest on his behalf that his behavior could be catagorized as Exemplary.

--new shoes, both practical & stylish

--a custom tailored jacket and 2 custom fitted shirts

--a cashmere sweater

--a big box of gold-wrapped Christmas chocolates

For Maman:

--black cowboy boots with silver tips

--a camel hair coat

--a Burberry scarf

--Burberry perfume

--a $100 gifts certificate for iPhone apps



In conclusion, darling Santa, I love you so much. I tell everyone I know all about you, not only during the Christmas season, but all year long. I am your most faithful, loyal friend and fan. Do you read my blog during the year? I hope so. I will leave your favorite cookies & some milk on the coffee table in the living room; help yourself. And even though I know I'm supposed to be asleep when you come to our house, I will try to stay awake to welcome you to the Roushanzamir home.

I love you with all my heart, always your friend,
Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I'd also like a new, bigger Christmas stocking. ;- D
Also, I found this delightful image of you at:

www.santaclaus.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21...

Letter to Santa, Christmas 2008

Dear, Darling Santa,

Remember me?

I've waited abominably long this year to write my letter. However, let's cut to the chase: brief & to the point. I've been good all year long, whether sleeping or waking, I haven't cried nor have I begged, nor pouted. [no time to present the evidence; please take my word for it.]

Therefore with confidence, I offer my Christmas list and, as proof of my selfless [almost] nature, I've include lists for Maman et Papa. [I can only assume and sincerely hope that these lists truly reflect their desires.]

What I want for Christmas:

1 octopus stuffed toy

as many balls as possible

some tasty dental treats

and the biggest raw-hide bone available

Affection-Affection-Affection Papa's list:

1 Mercedes [C-series]

1 fancy crystal bowl

1 valuable antique

shirts that don't shrink [note: Maman does the laundry....]

Dearest Maman's list:

a fancy dress in cloth of gold

an iPhone [twice the speed, 1/2 the price]

a European cake

Harry Winston jewelry
[don't look in the Paris store which, just in case you don't know, was knocked over & cleaned out by world-class thieves]

Dearest Santa, I love you very much and think of you all year long. I hope you fulfill all of our wishes. But please do note that my requests are the most modest, therefore [I assume] the most probable.

By the way, if you prefer certain kinds of cookies, or a beverage other than milk with which to refresh yourself before you leave our home, please let me know by writing a comment on my blog.

With all due respect and ever so much love, your friend Mercury Murphy

Christmas, Part 2: the Presents

I have been accused, by an envious few, of Being Unnecessarily Wordy. Sheer Calumny.

Still, for those fans who prefer the simplicity of visual communication, I present (get it?) this photo-essay titled:

Good Behavior Properly & Promptly Rewarded: presents from Santa

Carob cookies in pasta strainer

Hi-IQ Balls-within-a-Ball

Mind the Gap 3D t-shirt

Red Toys!

Books, amonsgt others Animals in Translation

Papa's valuable antiques (see Letter to Santa, 12-20-07)

Cheers!

Surfeited, I nap.

Dear Santa,

Dear, dear Santa!

Santa, I love you. Nor do I forget you during the 364 days that are not Christmas. You are my hero.

It was a thrill to finally meet you in person.

Listed below are the gifts that I hope will reward my year-long efforts which, lest you've forgotten in the rush of seasonal preparations, are as follows:

***Little crying, less pouting, no whining or unnecessary barking, eat meals promptly & neatly, go to bed at proper time & without fussing, waking hours spent in wholesome activity: in short my behavior = Very Good.***

Evidence of same: Mama et Papa took me [bundled me off] to Doggie Daycare for the required pre-admission Temperament Test at Pawtropolis [my old prep school]. The staff discussed amongst themselves my potential as an acceptable pack member, then introduced me to my group, [pathetically titled] "Tiny Tots." As I acclimated to the surroundings [which you can view through the online Pawtropolis web cam], they kept a watchful eye out [not unlike you, Santa, they saw me when I slept, knew when I awoke] for any signs of negativity, espeically aggression on my part, e.g. growling, lunging, baring of teeth, etc.

Notes were entered in a meticulously kept log with special mention of behavior problems IF there were any, which THERE WERE NOT.

My rating at day's end: EXEMPLARY, the highest commendation possible. Many happy face stickers were also awarded.

My Christmas List:

1 Terry-cloth puzzle ball with 7 smaller balls contained within

1 soccer ball, regulation size

1 yellow colored ball, small

1 warm blue sweater & 1 gray t-shirt [Mama insisted I include these]

Lots of colorful tissue paper wrapping

My own gift-laden stocking

Please remember Mama et Papa:

Mama would like a 2-week all-expenses paid trip to England to be scheduled for mid-April, 2008. [3 weeks would also be ok& the expenses should include an allowance for making purchases while travelling about.] Papa would like a first-edition A Christmas Carol, some valuable antiques & a cashmere jacket; he could also use some professional-quality cookware.

Finally, Dear Santa, in your own immortable words I wish you "a happy Christmas to all and to all a Good Night," with love from your pal Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir!

Witness The Absurd

I have donned a Santa hat, a pink boucle sweater, endured monthly visits to the beauty parlor [nothing against Kelly Noonan, truly a Master of Doggie Styles] and recently submitted to Mama's daily combings.

The picture at left, however, speaks for itself: the Absolute Limit.