Christmas Letter and Gift List 2016

Dearest, darling Santa!

First, thank you for agreeing to meet with me last week. We had a rewarding conversation and I'll just reiterate the salient points and clarify a few others.

Please remember that I've been ever so good this year. Any minor offenses are attributed to irresistible impulse (that's actually a defense to murder under the law) so they're really not my fault (if indeed I did them after all).

Also, take into consideration the wear and tear wrought by an extremely stressful election with dubious outcomes, hence the long list. I shall say no more about that.

With all due respect, love, and hope, my List:

---PetChatz:  a complete interactive and engagement audio/visual system that would let me press a button to ring Maman on her iphone so she can dispense treats and calming scents from wherever she might be (as well as engage in some idle chat)

---an iphone of my very own (I'm willing to take a 6S)

--Feliz Navidog Dog Tee (red)

--Burberry sweaters (2), a Burberry winter coat and a faux fur "puppy and me" scarf for dogs

--L.A. Dog Chevron Faux Fur Cuddle Donut Dog Bed

 --personalized Santa-belly gourmet cookie box

--Hugglehounds candy cane cuddle tuffet toy (the small size) & Hugglefleece Ball dog toy (small)

--2 Fiesta Petware bowls, one cobalt, one turquoise plus a Dog Bone Water Guard Rim place-mat (preferably personalized)

As you know, my friend, I always include a few requests for Maman et Papa. At this Noel, I shall keep those lists brief.

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*Papa:

a set of real chef's knives

Maman:

iphone 7 (pink finish)

ipad Pro (9.7 inches, gold finish) & a Smart Cover (the Product (Red) color)

Woven Nylon Apple Watch band (the pink & gray color)

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Finally, my best pal, Santa, I hope you've rested well (and eaten and exercised properly) all year long so that your global quest to assure that all good boys and girls receive their gifts is not impeded by ill-health or exhaustion. To that end, I promise to leave some tasty treats for you (water to drink, you must stay hydrated).

As a special bonus this year---and in light of our misunderstanding in the previous year---I have a special gift for you. (it's a surprise -- open it only after you've delivered all the other gifts in every land in the world)

Again, with all due respect, love, and hope, your very best friend in the whole wide universe,

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

* This year papa graciously acceded to the girls of the household's many wishes, feeling that the only recently-past political season has been particularly hard on women; he asked me to make it crystal clear that he'll be completely satisfied with the requested set of real chef's knives.

Dear Santa (final chance)

Dear, darling, Santa!

A quick reminder that I've been good all year (don't count the times when an irresistible impulse may have briefly led me astray) and am therefore anxiously awaiting a resumption of the good fellow feelings--and gift-giving--that we shared in previously years (overlooking last year).

Here is my updated list (see previous post):

---Personalized Snowman Cookie tin full of treats--- the Large Size

---2 Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (1, Santa; 1, Snowman)

---A black skull & crossbones water bowl (please replace the pink scull & crossbones bowl; it really doesn't sent a coherent message)

---A green, white and red round chew bone

---An infinity scarf (unless you've already gotten me the ultrasoft alpaca hat in which case I'll take that)

---A Swiss music box

---And, if possible an iPhone 6s, a flat screen TV of my very own, or an iPad mini (newest)-- your choice of the three

In return, I promise to leave a hand-crafted mug brimming with the best milk (do you care for a dash of rum?), lots of home-baked cookies and your very own fruit cake to take home.

As always, darling Santa, I love you with all my heart.

Very sincerely yours, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

P.S. I love you Santa

Christmas Planning Earlier & even Earlier

Dearest Santa, my friend,

Last year you visited other boys and girls, dropping a bit of what might be called junk down my chimney. You didn't even stop off for milk and cookies.

However, what's past is past and I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

To help you prepare for This Year, I'm creating a preliminary list, What I Want for Christmas:

Your Choice:

--Treats, the large size

   a Personalized Snowman Cookie tin OR
   a Personalized Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box OR
   a Santa's sleigh filled with treats

--an Ultrasoft Alpaca Hat OR and infinity scarf

--a Fleece to waterproof reversible argyle jacket

--Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (prefer the Santa but the reindeer or snowman are acceptable)

--a skull & crossbones food bowl

--finally, and if at all possible, I still wish for an iPhone (6s) and a flat screen TV of my very own or an iPad mini (newest)

We had our differences in this past year but let's put that behind us. Our friendship is too long-term to allow one year's omissions to end it.

I promise to leave the best cookies plus some fruit cake (you & I know it's NOT a JOKE) and a hot beverage of your choice.

In the meantime, I hope you're well. Were your post-Christmas months relaxing?

Thinking of you as always, darling Santa, I remain your best friend in the whole wide universe (not just the galaxy & certainly not just the solar system),

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I will write you again to remind you of my requests and to add lists for Mama et Papa who have been ever so good all year long.

Santa: review of Christmtas 2014

Dear Santa,

I can only imagine that you were so busy in 2014 that you didn't have time to read my Christmas letter (see previous post).

I'll refrain from recriminations.

After due consideration, I've decided to be Good This Year trusting that you will indeed see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake. However, if Christmas 2015 is no more successful (from my point of view) than Christmas 2014, all bets are off. Not a threat, but certainly a promise.

So, hoping your Christmas was more rewarding than mine and, in light of our (previous) deep affection for each other, you remain my dearest pal, darling Santa.

Disappointed but affectionately yours, your friend Mercury

My Christmas letter, and accompanying list

Dear Santa,

Greetings, my very best friend. You must be busy getting ready for opening [and closing] night tomorrow. Trust you're in good health and super condition for all your hard work.

It may seem rather late, but knowing your infinite patience, I humbly submit my Christmas list for your consideration. [remuneration will be provided: Irish coffee with plum pudding was your request, as I recall]

Mercury's List [in no particular order]

flat screen TV that will fit in my little home

iPhone 6 in gold

iPad mini of my very own

tin of the fancy dog treats [large]

a circus costume [now that I've perfected my circus trick, I need a special costume, something sparkly and elegant, for auditions I've lined up]

a fine china dining set, preferably Lenox

2 Waterford goblets

5 small cloth balls in assorted colors

 Note: when you come I'll probably be sleeping. But feel free to wake me. Perhaps we'd have time for a chat over the coffee & plum pud. 

Maman's List [short but ambitious]

 She's still waiting for her 10ct emerald cut diamond ring set in platinum [at this point, she'd settle for 5]

AppleWatch, preferably in 18ct rose gold with the red leather band

Papa's List [Since he received his Mercedes in 2013, his list is modest]

socks and t-shirts should suffice

Thank you so much for bringing all my toys and treats and for any consideration you can extend to Maman and Papa as well.

I love you so much and always will. I miss you all year 'round. I behave very well indeed, I'm good, not naughty [hardly ever]. I hope I catch you as you slip down our chimney but I go to bed early [in that home that lacks only 1 thing, a flat screen TV].

Perhaps one of these years, you can visit me off-season. I'll show you a great time in Athens, GA, treat you to some meals, share my toys, etc.

Sending you very very very much love and all good wishes for your Christmas Eve trip and that you enjoy health, happiness and peace in 2015.

Love from your best friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir