Christmas Letter and Gift List 2016

Dearest, darling Santa!

First, thank you for agreeing to meet with me last week. We had a rewarding conversation and I'll just reiterate the salient points and clarify a few others.

Please remember that I've been ever so good this year. Any minor offenses are attributed to irresistible impulse (that's actually a defense to murder under the law) so they're really not my fault (if indeed I did them after all).

Also, take into consideration the wear and tear wrought by an extremely stressful election with dubious outcomes, hence the long list. I shall say no more about that.

With all due respect, love, and hope, my List:

---PetChatz:  a complete interactive and engagement audio/visual system that would let me press a button to ring Maman on her iphone so she can dispense treats and calming scents from wherever she might be (as well as engage in some idle chat)

---an iphone of my very own (I'm willing to take a 6S)

--Feliz Navidog Dog Tee (red)

--Burberry sweaters (2), a Burberry winter coat and a faux fur "puppy and me" scarf for dogs

--L.A. Dog Chevron Faux Fur Cuddle Donut Dog Bed

 --personalized Santa-belly gourmet cookie box

--Hugglehounds candy cane cuddle tuffet toy (the small size) & Hugglefleece Ball dog toy (small)

--2 Fiesta Petware bowls, one cobalt, one turquoise plus a Dog Bone Water Guard Rim place-mat (preferably personalized)

As you know, my friend, I always include a few requests for Maman et Papa. At this Noel, I shall keep those lists brief.

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*Papa:

a set of real chef's knives

Maman:

iphone 7 (pink finish)

ipad Pro (9.7 inches, gold finish) & a Smart Cover (the Product (Red) color)

Woven Nylon Apple Watch band (the pink & gray color)

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Finally, my best pal, Santa, I hope you've rested well (and eaten and exercised properly) all year long so that your global quest to assure that all good boys and girls receive their gifts is not impeded by ill-health or exhaustion. To that end, I promise to leave some tasty treats for you (water to drink, you must stay hydrated).

As a special bonus this year---and in light of our misunderstanding in the previous year---I have a special gift for you. (it's a surprise -- open it only after you've delivered all the other gifts in every land in the world)

Again, with all due respect, love, and hope, your very best friend in the whole wide universe,

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

* This year papa graciously acceded to the girls of the household's many wishes, feeling that the only recently-past political season has been particularly hard on women; he asked me to make it crystal clear that he'll be completely satisfied with the requested set of real chef's knives.

Dear Santa (final chance)

Dear, darling, Santa!

A quick reminder that I've been good all year (don't count the times when an irresistible impulse may have briefly led me astray) and am therefore anxiously awaiting a resumption of the good fellow feelings--and gift-giving--that we shared in previously years (overlooking last year).

Here is my updated list (see previous post):

---Personalized Snowman Cookie tin full of treats--- the Large Size

---2 Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (1, Santa; 1, Snowman)

---A black skull & crossbones water bowl (please replace the pink scull & crossbones bowl; it really doesn't sent a coherent message)

---A green, white and red round chew bone

---An infinity scarf (unless you've already gotten me the ultrasoft alpaca hat in which case I'll take that)

---A Swiss music box

---And, if possible an iPhone 6s, a flat screen TV of my very own, or an iPad mini (newest)-- your choice of the three

In return, I promise to leave a hand-crafted mug brimming with the best milk (do you care for a dash of rum?), lots of home-baked cookies and your very own fruit cake to take home.

As always, darling Santa, I love you with all my heart.

Very sincerely yours, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

P.S. I love you Santa

Christmas Planning Earlier & even Earlier

Dearest Santa, my friend,

Last year you visited other boys and girls, dropping a bit of what might be called junk down my chimney. You didn't even stop off for milk and cookies.

However, what's past is past and I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

To help you prepare for This Year, I'm creating a preliminary list, What I Want for Christmas:

Your Choice:

--Treats, the large size

   a Personalized Snowman Cookie tin OR
   a Personalized Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box OR
   a Santa's sleigh filled with treats

--an Ultrasoft Alpaca Hat OR and infinity scarf

--a Fleece to waterproof reversible argyle jacket

--Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (prefer the Santa but the reindeer or snowman are acceptable)

--a skull & crossbones food bowl

--finally, and if at all possible, I still wish for an iPhone (6s) and a flat screen TV of my very own or an iPad mini (newest)

We had our differences in this past year but let's put that behind us. Our friendship is too long-term to allow one year's omissions to end it.

I promise to leave the best cookies plus some fruit cake (you & I know it's NOT a JOKE) and a hot beverage of your choice.

In the meantime, I hope you're well. Were your post-Christmas months relaxing?

Thinking of you as always, darling Santa, I remain your best friend in the whole wide universe (not just the galaxy & certainly not just the solar system),

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I will write you again to remind you of my requests and to add lists for Mama et Papa who have been ever so good all year long.

Mercury's Christmas Letter to Santa, 2013

 

Dearest, darling, Santa,

    

-->     I am distressed to compose my letter at this time  when I am driving Maman to distraction with my bad behavior and just at the time when she has a few precious weeks off from her highly demanding job. I trust you will not hold it against me and not measure the dog by the behavior of a few weeks.

     This has been a harrowing year as well: I was attacked by my neighbor Chad, a large (intimidating) Chow mix. My injuries were slight but it was necessary to be driven to the doggie ER and to visit my regular doctor on Monday. Blood was drawn! Papa and Maman valiantly leapt to my aid-- Papa scooping me and Maman putting herself between Chad and Papa. In any case, that's all in the past. Chad's Mom was so kind to me and I've forgiven him; it's really not his fault.

     And in general, over the course of the last 12 months, I have tried to be as good as possible, helping Maman with her work, serving as sous-chef for Papa, cleaning my own home and suffering clothing willingly if not gladly.

     Plus, you are my very best friend. I love you more than anyone and I've missed you all year long.  Therefore, I'm hoping you'll forgive my lapses and leave me the following gifts:

Mercury's Christmas List

1 Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box

Peanut Butter Madness & Personalized Tote

New & pretty water bowl, preferably a 2-cup jewel tone pedestal bowl

Personalized Sequined Reindeer Tee (this to make Maman happy: note this example of good behavior)

A TV and a smart phone (preferably iPhone 5s) of my very own

A Furby (purple)

For Maman:

Old Gringoembroidered Jasmine 10" boots

For Papa:

Maman and I agree that his Mercedes (E-series, over 300-horse power, polar white with two sun roofs and satellite connection) is gift enough for 1 year (possibly more?--just a suggestion; you're the expert).  If you feel especially well disposed to Papa, he does need a new pair of socks.

     As you can see, our requests are modest this year. I am truly sorry for my bad behavior. If you only leave coal for me, I'll understand.  But please don't punish Maman for my sins. She did her best and I hope you'll leave those Old Gringo boots for her.

     Well, my darling friend, that's all for now. Is there anything that you'd like me to give you? The traditional milk and cookies? A large bowl of caviar and toast? A new suit?

     Very truly yours, with love, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir!

PS: you can visit me and even stay for a few days. I'd be happy and honored to share my own little home. I expect that you'd like a break from the exertions of this Christmas season (I hope I'll have a TV and smart phone by that time; I'll share them with you.)

Another PS: I promise to be nicer to Kelly Noonan who after all is a wonderful groomer. Perhaps you could bring some  furniture or decorations for her luxurious new location: Doggie Styles. (note, another example of good behavior)

Dear Santa,

Dearest, darling Santa,

It's that time of the year, old friend. We've seen many Christmases, cheered them on their way with hot chocolate, sugar cookies, figs & dates, and beautiful gifts.

Anyway, here's my Christmas List, filled with all the things I most want to find outside the door of my loft on Christmas Day.

Rest assured, I've been a good (not bad) doggie, nice, not naughty, very little crying or pouting, and so forth. You know this since you see me when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake. I'm just reiterating the obvious just in case you've been distracted.

This list enumerates my Christmas gift wishes but I'd also like to hear from you. What present do you want? If you tell me, I'll do my very best to get it for you.

Mercury's Christmas List:

New home decor, preferably red
A doggie cam
Several small squeaky balls in assorted colors
7 chewy bones and a bag of greenies, large size
A pail full of doggy treats (big)
1 designer (Diamond) collar, pink or red
A TV of my very own
An Iphone 5 with ear buds
Please wrap it all with shiny crinkly Christmas wrapping paper and inside, wrap each gift in gold or silver tissue paper

As for Papa:

A black Mercedes, the E series
5 pair of comically colored socks
A British Air ticket to London (special deal with hotel included)
Also, a Chunnel ticket to Paris
A designer leather belt

Mama's list:

A 10ct diamond, Emerald cut, set in Platinum (she asked for it last year too)
Designer shoes with studs on them
A British Air ticket to London (special deal with hotel included)
Also, a Chunnel ticket to Paris
A large size silver bowl filled with caviar

Papa and Maman have been good enough this year to warrant the fulfillment of their wishes. They have taken good care of me (save that 1 time when they "inadvertently" locked me out of the house), they feed me lots of cheese, meat and ice cream, they take me on daily walks and weekends to the intramural fields where against all rules Papa lets me off my leash.

In sum, dear Santa, please visit us on Christmas Eve. You may come down the chimney but I'll also leave the side door open. If you want a gift from me, please write and let me know what you'd prefer. I can only buy you 1 gift because any more would be too difficult to carry home.

I love you more than words can express, my dear darling best friends, Santa.

--Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Dear Santa, 2011

Dear Darling Santa,

Thank you for bringing me some presents, some of which I like. You are the kindest, nicest man ever and I count you as my very best friend. It's wonderful that you take the time to visit me each year but I know that you see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake 24/7.



To summarize: I did not get the Hide 'em and Find 'em plush toy with several small blue balls. On the other hand, I'm grateful for the antler chew toy and the long-needed china food bowl. I received a vintage reindeer toy but clearly that was for Maman. The candy cane chew toy's okay; it's not real candy. I was especially hoping for the I'm Beggin' Ya Treat Box (big size). But although that didn't materialize, I'm rather relieved not to have received a Burberry sweater (or for that matter any sweater).

[May I say, dear Santa, in all honesty that when it comes to the gifts, I was hoping for more?]

As for Maman and Papa, their gift experience was also mixed: no Mercedes, no 10ct. emerald cut, set in platinum diamond ring. Papa opened package after package of clothing. But he also found a Doctor Who hologram chamber and a special "Brown Betty" tea pot under the (rosemary) table top tree. And his loot included a Smiley's People DVD. Maman's hopes for Co Co Chanel perfume were rewarded. On the other hand, she has already returned her new warm winter coat. They both did receive thick warm socks.

We shared Christmas dinner with Pam, Sophie and Lily and that was wonderful. Great drink, food and conversation! Their tree was spectacular, the girls and Pam are beautiful, and everyone treated me as an honored guest. They appreciated the gifts I brought them--a cornucopia of fancy makeup, tough-cool black leather gloves for Pam, and $50 cash for each of the girls.

I have used my time this holiday season constructively. I've paid special attention to perfecting the combo winsome-wistful sideways Glance. I've steadily improved and at present the Glance is liberally rewarded with holiday treats, those reserved for doggies and those intended for strictly human consumption.

So, Santa, although I have some reservations, Christmas has been a happy holiday. I hope your Christmas was the best ever, that you in your turn received desired gifts and tasty treats, and that now you take a well deserved rest basking in the knowledge of a job well done.

I love you Santa, very very much. I hope you love me too.

My Christmas Letter 2010

Dear Darling Santa,

I hope this finds you as it leaves me: very well behaved indeed.

Yes, I've been ever so good this year. I don't shiver when I have to go to Doggie Styles. I brush my teeth daily. I never sneak into the bathroom where the toilet paper roll is left unattended (well, hardly ever). I don't beg for food (honesty compels me to add that Papa keeps me well fed, no need to beg). I bark at bad guys & I allow little children to pet me. I haven't pouted or cried. I've been a good helper all year long. For example, I guarded the next door neighbors' house when they were out of town. I taught Mama how to use her new favorite computer gadget, Dropbox. I picked up after myself. I behaved unselfishly -- as proof see the lists below for Maman et Papa; these I made up myself which shows that I take others into consideration & have empathy for their needs and desires.

All that being said, and as you can see from the photo above, I am looking for you every day and hoping that I'll see you soon. I will leave out some milk & cookies, the milk laced with brandy for it is now quite cold in Athens and your open sleigh isn't the best vehicle for winter traveling.

Here is my list:

my own TV set with remote control & wifi connection

new microfiber suede bed for my home (preferably red)

high IQ interactive puzzle doggie toys and

a Dog Dizzy interactive toy

an India rubber ball (also preferably, red)

an argyle sweater (pinks & browns)

a personalized small toy bucket

Papa's list:

a vintage Alpha Romeo (preferably champagne color)

non-stick skillet

2 or 3 good books

Gap jeans

Ray-Ban prescription sun glasses

Maman's list:

a 10-carat diamond ring set in platinum

Chanel perfume (the large size)

Shopping spree at Burberry's in London

jar of caviar (the large size)

Dear, darling Santa. I love you so much. You are my very best friend. Please bring all these items to our house on Christmas Eve!

Lots of love, your good friend Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: Here is a present for you, Dear Santa. It is an enhanced photo that I created all by myself. If you like, you can take it with you on your flight around the world on Christmas Eve. It'll be good company for you. Love, again Mercury