Belated Thank You, my friend

Dearest Santa!

Imagine my surprise when I received everything on my 2018 Christmas list. I'm so gratified that you noticed my exemplary behavior.

One request, the "Charming Pet" puzzler toy, was too easy for me so i decided to give it to a young puppy, Woody, for whom it seemed more appropriate. And so it is. He figured out the (rather simple) puzzle and was puffed out with pride. It gave him great pleasure. Please remember Woody next here. Here is a photo of my Mama with Woody and his boy:

[ I trust you'll remember my generosity (good behavior) for Christmas 2019.]

BTW, were you surprised and delighted to find the single-malt Scotch and cookies that i left for you close to the fireplace? Did they warm you on your way to the good little girls and boys all over the world?

I shall close by reiterating my sincere thanks (especially for the large package of greenies), hope you'll have a rejuvinating long break from your arduous December schedule, and visit me any time in 2019 and especially--with toys, treats and gifts--at Christmas.  

Love your best pal and buddy, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I really really LOVE you ever so much indeed.

Strangle Hold

 Dear darling Santa,

A year has passed since Christmas 2017. A long arid summer, followed by its opposite, a drenching autumn, and now winter, fast approaching.

As the 2017 photo above attests, my encounter with you (my best pal and buddy) was a tad fraught. It's a photo only a Mama could love.

Still, bye-gones shall be bye-gones and I have my Christmas list ready for your final approval (and action).

Mercury's List of Preferred Toys, Treats, and Gifts 

Red Plaid Flannel Dog Hoodie

A SPOT plush bone with face toy

A SPOT soccer ball

A "Charming Pet" Christmas puzzler dog toy

Greenies teeny treats (the largest bag)

**A new XS iphone of my very own would also be welcome, indeed

Please note, I've been extremely well-behaved this year despite significant health problems. Multiple doctor visits, x-rays, ultra-sound, a trip to the emergency room and a surgery that resulted in scores of stitches. I wore the cone of shame (otherwise known as an Elizabethan Collar) proudly.

I've become ever more attentive to Mama as we've continued to bond over our shared interest in film and Brit TV. As I've learned from a book I've been reading recently, dogs and humans share a "deep interest in friendship, cooperation, and justice." We share much in common but our differences may be what cements the 40,000+ years of living in love, peace, and solidarity. [see Willing Dogs & Reluctant Masters: on friendship and dogs by Gary Borjesson] 

With Papa and grand-père, I've worked diligently to alleviate the many burdens on Mama so that she may spend happy hours watching, reading, and thinking, i.e. her retirement goals.

Finally,  dearest Santa, I wish you all the best this holiday season. Please enjoy your final week of rest and relaxation before your strenuous Christmas Eve travel around the world to visit all the good little girls and boys.

As a (thoughtful) token of my esteem, this year I shall hold the milk and instead leave French cognac and a large-sized chocolate bar (Mrs. Sees) to warm you on your way.

With undying affection and love, your very best friend in the whole wide world,

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I finally got my driver's license. Maybe I share driving responsibilities with you in 2019? I think you could leave more gifts for each child at each visit if you had my assistance.

Emergency Message to my Wonderful (Best) Friend--Santa

Mama's Disastrous Error

I wrote my first seasonal letter to you. Mama typed and posted it, not to my blog but to her own Entertainment and Media Creative Development blog, which may I add is unimpressive (dare I say uninteresting?).

However please use this link to open my personal letter in which I send my very best greetings and provide some guidance on your upcoming crunch time. All of us good little boys and girls all over the world depend upon you. (BTW, although grandpere thinks I'm a boy, I AM NOT)

Love and kisses from your best and most dependable friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: Don't hold this mistake against Mama this Christmas. xoxox I won't let her make the same mistake again.

Is the shoe horn going the way of the wash board?

Technology is a topic of great interest among tech professionals, scholars, and the general public. But usually the interest is only generated by the latest innovations or futuristic improbabilities.

What has begun to intrigue me is, how in the passage of time, low technologies tend to quietly fade away.

Take for example, the shoe horn.

Who remembers the shoe horn its appearance, history and eventual transformation from a physical manifestation into a metaphor?

Or the paper weight (in a "paperless" society).  Read George Orwell's comments in 1994 on the value(lessness) of a lone silvery glassed-in flower-globe displayed on an aging wooden table.

Wikipedia provides a concise history and explanation of the washboard (but to learn how first uses fade over time, read the disambiguation section).

All of which to say is while high technology, digitization, computerization, mobile devices, etc. and so forth attract far more than their share of attention, some basics should be thoughtfully considered as part of a fleeting way of life. How can we evaluate the impact of loss and change over the 32,000 years of our doggie-human cultural formation?

Thank you, my friends and fans, for any insights you may care to offer.

As always, your pal, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Disgruntled

Sometimes a doggie is in the correct time and place to fulfill their fondest dreams and their rightful place in society. Other times, not so much. I fall in the latter category. 

My heart belongs in the film industry. Acting, directing and editing would have been my forte. Like my favorite star, Asta, I could have been a contender. Asta, star of, among other films, the Thin Man series, never won an Oscar (nor did his co- star, Myrna Loy). But his work has long been acknowledged as first-rate. He claimed his rightful place in the universe.

I am the third generation of the impact of what can only be called: devastatingly bad decisions. Sadly, my rightful place in the universe remains unfilled.

If Grandpere had followed his path, as stand up comedian, screen writer and director, Maman would now be a successful screen and TV writer. If Maman had been a successful screen writer, I doubtless would have become a star of big screen and small (and perhaps even made it to the Broadway stage).

But no. After Princeton, Grandpere attended Columbia Medical and became a physician. Maman earned a Ph.D. at University of Wisconsin. True, each had distinguished careers, Grandpere in academic medicine, Maman, a professor of media studies. 

But what about me? Without the Hollywood/show biz contacts, I've wallowed in an academic environment far distant from my true destiny. Their bad decisions and lack of foresight led to half-lives for them (but that's down to them) and devastating loss for me and for the dramatic arts.

I've made the best of things. I take vicarious pleasures where I can find them: I watch classic films on TCM, indie/ international films on Film Struck, Brit films/TV on AcornTV, TV and film on Hulu, independent productions on Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime. Enjoyable, yes. Suggestive, yes. Even inspiring, yes. 

But, yes I should have been a contributor.  I could've been a contender. 

Best regards to my faithful friends and followers, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Christmas Letter and Gift List 2016

Dearest, darling Santa!

First, thank you for agreeing to meet with me last week. We had a rewarding conversation and I'll just reiterate the salient points and clarify a few others.

Please remember that I've been ever so good this year. Any minor offenses are attributed to irresistible impulse (that's actually a defense to murder under the law) so they're really not my fault (if indeed I did them after all).

Also, take into consideration the wear and tear wrought by an extremely stressful election with dubious outcomes, hence the long list. I shall say no more about that.

With all due respect, love, and hope, my List:

---PetChatz:  a complete interactive and engagement audio/visual system that would let me press a button to ring Maman on her iphone so she can dispense treats and calming scents from wherever she might be (as well as engage in some idle chat)

---an iphone of my very own (I'm willing to take a 6S)

--Feliz Navidog Dog Tee (red)

--Burberry sweaters (2), a Burberry winter coat and a faux fur "puppy and me" scarf for dogs

--L.A. Dog Chevron Faux Fur Cuddle Donut Dog Bed

 --personalized Santa-belly gourmet cookie box

--Hugglehounds candy cane cuddle tuffet toy (the small size) & Hugglefleece Ball dog toy (small)

--2 Fiesta Petware bowls, one cobalt, one turquoise plus a Dog Bone Water Guard Rim place-mat (preferably personalized)

As you know, my friend, I always include a few requests for Maman et Papa. At this Noel, I shall keep those lists brief.

-------------------------------------

*Papa:

a set of real chef's knives

Maman:

iphone 7 (pink finish)

ipad Pro (9.7 inches, gold finish) & a Smart Cover (the Product (Red) color)

Woven Nylon Apple Watch band (the pink & gray color)

---------------------------------

Finally, my best pal, Santa, I hope you've rested well (and eaten and exercised properly) all year long so that your global quest to assure that all good boys and girls receive their gifts is not impeded by ill-health or exhaustion. To that end, I promise to leave some tasty treats for you (water to drink, you must stay hydrated).

As a special bonus this year---and in light of our misunderstanding in the previous year---I have a special gift for you. (it's a surprise -- open it only after you've delivered all the other gifts in every land in the world)

Again, with all due respect, love, and hope, your very best friend in the whole wide universe,

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

* This year papa graciously acceded to the girls of the household's many wishes, feeling that the only recently-past political season has been particularly hard on women; he asked me to make it crystal clear that he'll be completely satisfied with the requested set of real chef's knives.

I'm still here, Santa ;-)

Dear darling pal, Santa,

It's only 3 months 'til your big night. I've missed you ever so much over the last 9 months. Have you missed me too?

Here's a photo to remind you of me. Please take special note of my Christmas scarf and the halo of light surrounding me. 

I'll write again soon but, in the meantime, I hope you're well and happy. 

Love from your best friend, Mercury 

Home is where her heart is...

...and fortunately Maman's heart is with me. This photo,taken by Kelly of Doggie Styles, was for Maman when she was far away. As she is tonight. But tomorrow we'll be reunited.

We love each other so much, Maman and I. She tells me I'm the best creature in the whole wide universe (not just the galaxy or the solar system).  I throw my arms around her and lick and wag and lick some more whether she's away from me for 2 weeks or twenty minutes. 

Maman and I are pals and comrades. 

Cheers to Maman with the greatest live. xoxox

Light(s)

Springtime light seems quickly changing to summer. And for my scholarly friends that means light at the end of term's tunnel. ;-)

Rejoicing

Dearest Santa, I'm happy and proud that our friendship has been rejuvenated and, in fact, cemented by my (and your) successful Christmas season. Thank you ever so much for carefully studying my Christmas gift list and complying with my requests. You're my best pal ever and I love you, dear friend. Ever your appreciative and well behaved buddy, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir. (& thanks to Holly Brown for our portrait) 🎄😇🎅

Dear Santa (final chance)

Dear, darling, Santa!

A quick reminder that I've been good all year (don't count the times when an irresistible impulse may have briefly led me astray) and am therefore anxiously awaiting a resumption of the good fellow feelings--and gift-giving--that we shared in previously years (overlooking last year).

Here is my updated list (see previous post):

---Personalized Snowman Cookie tin full of treats--- the Large Size

---2 Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (1, Santa; 1, Snowman)

---A black skull & crossbones water bowl (please replace the pink scull & crossbones bowl; it really doesn't sent a coherent message)

---A green, white and red round chew bone

---An infinity scarf (unless you've already gotten me the ultrasoft alpaca hat in which case I'll take that)

---A Swiss music box

---And, if possible an iPhone 6s, a flat screen TV of my very own, or an iPad mini (newest)-- your choice of the three

In return, I promise to leave a hand-crafted mug brimming with the best milk (do you care for a dash of rum?), lots of home-baked cookies and your very own fruit cake to take home.

As always, darling Santa, I love you with all my heart.

Very sincerely yours, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

P.S. I love you Santa

Christmas Planning Earlier & even Earlier

Dearest Santa, my friend,

Last year you visited other boys and girls, dropping a bit of what might be called junk down my chimney. You didn't even stop off for milk and cookies.

However, what's past is past and I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

To help you prepare for This Year, I'm creating a preliminary list, What I Want for Christmas:

Your Choice:

--Treats, the large size

   a Personalized Snowman Cookie tin OR
   a Personalized Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box OR
   a Santa's sleigh filled with treats

--an Ultrasoft Alpaca Hat OR and infinity scarf

--a Fleece to waterproof reversible argyle jacket

--Holiday Fab-Balls bounce for joy! (prefer the Santa but the reindeer or snowman are acceptable)

--a skull & crossbones food bowl

--finally, and if at all possible, I still wish for an iPhone (6s) and a flat screen TV of my very own or an iPad mini (newest)

We had our differences in this past year but let's put that behind us. Our friendship is too long-term to allow one year's omissions to end it.

I promise to leave the best cookies plus some fruit cake (you & I know it's NOT a JOKE) and a hot beverage of your choice.

In the meantime, I hope you're well. Were your post-Christmas months relaxing?

Thinking of you as always, darling Santa, I remain your best friend in the whole wide universe (not just the galaxy & certainly not just the solar system),

Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

PS: I will write you again to remind you of my requests and to add lists for Mama et Papa who have been ever so good all year long.

DSSL/UDSL - Languages and their Implications

What, my friends, you may ask are DSSL/UDSL?

UDSL stands for Universal Doggie Sign Language, and consists of the many signs and signals that pass between humans and dogs in their ongoing efforts to establish rapport.

For example, when a human pats the empty seat on the couch next to them, it means the dog should jump up and sit there. There's the pointy finger by which humans suggest we should fetch something-- their paper, slippers, whatnot. There's the flat palm, parallel to the floor: they want us to lie down. Or the perpendicular palm: sit-stay.

The problem with UDSL is that it was developed and refined by humans. It depends on the hand & opposable thumb. Humans have long assumed that dogs accept the universality of the language (hence their common name for it: UDSL), perhaps because in the early days of human-dog co-mingling, a few dogs formed a committee from which a recommendation was put forth and approved appear to accept UDSL as an authentic dog to human language.

Is it devastating, sad, pathetic, or perhaps the height of hubris, that in their need (or desire) to communicate, humans developed UDSL  with very little recognition that conversation is the essence of communication---and that the human hand and doggie paw are skeletally quite different.

DSSL, Doggie Specific Sign Language, was developed by dogs for dogs over 5,000 years ago and while not as well known among humans,  engages movements that humans and dogs can make equally well (and it certainly works far better for promoting a doggie agenda). It is dogs' preferred mode of communication among ourselves and with other species.

DSSL consists of subtle movements such as: the stare, the hard sit, cocked head, raised posterior, etc. These motions, fluid yet distinctive, serve dogs far better than UDSL serves either human or dog. UDSL, based as it is on flawed cultural assumptions engenders compliance and limits true communication. DSSL having emerged organically over the centuries, stimulates dialog, mutual respect and understanding.

Here, for example, the plaintive glance. I was longing for a crunchy treat, Mama responded with a crunchy treat. I'm sure if the situation had been slightly different,  if for example, Mama gave the plaintive glance, I would in turn have given her a crunchy treat.

Recently, there have emerged a few scholarly ethnologies of  DSSL/UDSL. I myself have penned a brief monograph on the subject:

See Roushanzamir, Mercury Murphy. The Elementary Structures of UDSL/DSSL and their implications for war and peace. 2014, Boston, Mass: CanineText.

My checkered future

Friends and Comrades,

It has long been agreed that Sundays weigh heavily upon the populace; this has been documented throughout the centuries  in memoirs, novels and short stories, news reports, scientific studies and etc.

Sundays with Mama et Papa are no exception.

This past week I decided to take matters into my paws by suggesting an innovation and a return to the pastimes of pre-21st century-- a non electronic, non digital, strictly analog board game.

I selected checkers. First challenge: to find a checkers board; a glass trivet. Next, checkers pieces. Quarters and pennies.

Finally: learn the rules.

For that last, I consulted Mama who had been known as a Checkers Champion in her youth. Slowly, carefully I elicited the complex intricacies of the game, direction of moves, jumps and the ever important, "King Me."

My first challenger, Papa. Perhaps, my friends and comrades, you will not be surprised that I soundly trumped him.  My double jumps, keen appreciation for the necessity of both strong offense and defense, and finally my crowning achievement, racking up the Kings, led me to victory time and time again.

Realizing that it might be time to reap some winnings, I cautiously suggested a little wager. What a fantastic idea! Here you see me dressed in a tux, ready for the evening out on the town that I was able to pay for thanks to my checkers prowess.

Sundays will never be the same.

Perhaps you'd like to play a little game and place a little wager? Let me know in the comments section below.

As ever, your loyal and strategically-thinking pal, Mercury

Do I dare to eat a peach?

Good afternoon, friends & fans,

I read this question somewhere and it caused me to reflect on one of the most important factors of my life: food. When, what, how, where and why food is served to me daily are matters for due consideration and many grave aspects of my life depend on the answers to those (almost) overwhelming questions. I will answer some of those questions below (and I will ask others). I hope you will write to Mama and Papa with suggestions for some sorely needed improvements. (use the comments section below)

When & What: generally I'm served an early morning hor d'oeuvre, followed by a breakfast of high end dog food at 8:30AM. There follows a dry spell until mid-morning at which time I share Mama's tinned salmon, humus and olive sandwich. Mid day crunchy snacks are occasionally served up but I can count on an ample early, i.e. 3PM, supper (yet again the prepared high end, if dry, dog food).

Once Papa returns from wherever he spends his day, the menu improves markedly. I share at least a morsel of each item on his dinner plate and also any of his later evening snacks. As well, tempting doggie cocktails & treats are generously profferred -- as they say, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere. [Doubtless it's Papa's contributions to my daily diet are doubtless what have prevented many of the diseases associated with insufficient caloric intake.]

How: one ceramic bowl and one plastic water bowl --albeit with pink scull & cross bones around the side. (and yet, there should be time to "lift and drop a question on [my]... plate.... before the taking of a toast and tea"...)

Where: I'm served in my own dining area (it can hardly be called a room), no table (therefore no table cloth), no chair, no candle sticks, no center piece (no--- you fill in the blanks).

Why: this is the most difficult question to answer since it encompasses so many aspects. I will name only four.

1) Why am I segregated from the dining table with its aura of deluxe?
2) Why don't I have full table service, chinaware, sterling silver, crystal goblets, linen napkins, lace doilies on a damask table cloth, etc., in other words the niceties of dining, those aspects that create pleasure out of need?
3) Why do I not receive a menu to be approved daily?
4) and finally, why am I not served on demand? (after which I'd have time to "wear white flannels and walk upon the beach...." instead of the dull routine: get up, eat, rest, eat, rest, eat dinner, snack, bed)

I hope you will give weighty consideration to my situation. (I have omitted some of the more objectionable problems, in favor of try to address those that seem more likely to, in fact, be solved.)

Please help me send a message and sing with me The Love Song of Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir.

Friends and Cars

My dear and faithful fans,

If you read my previous entry, you'll know why it has been so long since I've put pen to paper (paws to keyboard). Yes, I was truly shocked that my pal Santa (my best pal, or so I thought) treated me dismissively (if not snubbed me altogether). However, we've passed the turning point, Santa has another chance to demonstrate his devotion, 5 months (and counting).

So, on to other matters.

Driving lessons were on my summer agenda. After years of total dependency in this car-dominated society, Papa agreed to teach me how to drive. And how absurdly simple it turned out to be; simply point and go.

Papa has promised to buy me a car of my very own! I've selected a Mini Cooper, the smallest size, preferably hunter green. And unlike Santa (pal that he has heretofore always been), I will get my car very shortly indeed-- certainly before University of Georgia--Athens classes start.

I can't say that Fall is in the air. To the contrary, hot and humid has been the story of the last 4 weeks and promises to by the sequel playing out over the next 4 weeks (and beyond?). But the start of university classes holds the promise of new comrades on the journey of knowledge pursuit. Who knows where that journey will lead. Please return soon.

As always, with gratitude for your readership. Please feel free to send your comments or questions. I promise to answer them all.

Your friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Santa: review of Christmtas 2014

Dear Santa,

I can only imagine that you were so busy in 2014 that you didn't have time to read my Christmas letter (see previous post).

I'll refrain from recriminations.

After due consideration, I've decided to be Good This Year trusting that you will indeed see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake. However, if Christmas 2015 is no more successful (from my point of view) than Christmas 2014, all bets are off. Not a threat, but certainly a promise.

So, hoping your Christmas was more rewarding than mine and, in light of our (previous) deep affection for each other, you remain my dearest pal, darling Santa.

Disappointed but affectionately yours, your friend Mercury

My Christmas letter, and accompanying list

Dear Santa,

Greetings, my very best friend. You must be busy getting ready for opening [and closing] night tomorrow. Trust you're in good health and super condition for all your hard work.

It may seem rather late, but knowing your infinite patience, I humbly submit my Christmas list for your consideration. [remuneration will be provided: Irish coffee with plum pudding was your request, as I recall]

Mercury's List [in no particular order]

flat screen TV that will fit in my little home

iPhone 6 in gold

iPad mini of my very own

tin of the fancy dog treats [large]

a circus costume [now that I've perfected my circus trick, I need a special costume, something sparkly and elegant, for auditions I've lined up]

a fine china dining set, preferably Lenox

2 Waterford goblets

5 small cloth balls in assorted colors

 Note: when you come I'll probably be sleeping. But feel free to wake me. Perhaps we'd have time for a chat over the coffee & plum pud. 

Maman's List [short but ambitious]

 She's still waiting for her 10ct emerald cut diamond ring set in platinum [at this point, she'd settle for 5]

AppleWatch, preferably in 18ct rose gold with the red leather band

Papa's List [Since he received his Mercedes in 2013, his list is modest]

socks and t-shirts should suffice

Thank you so much for bringing all my toys and treats and for any consideration you can extend to Maman and Papa as well.

I love you so much and always will. I miss you all year 'round. I behave very well indeed, I'm good, not naughty [hardly ever]. I hope I catch you as you slip down our chimney but I go to bed early [in that home that lacks only 1 thing, a flat screen TV].

Perhaps one of these years, you can visit me off-season. I'll show you a great time in Athens, GA, treat you to some meals, share my toys, etc.

Sending you very very very much love and all good wishes for your Christmas Eve trip and that you enjoy health, happiness and peace in 2015.

Love from your best friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

My visitors

This weekend, Sidney & his Mom came to visit me. They brought me some kebab & gormeh sabzi, took me shopping and generally spoiled me rotten. I hope they stay for a Very Long Time. 

Here's a photo of Sidney & his Mom outside on the porch. I photo bombed. 

Maman honored

Please congratulate my darling Maman who received this special recognition of her teaching skills. She teaches me things every day. She's the best Maman & teacher in the whole wide universe.