Dear Santa, 2011

Dear Darling Santa,

Thank you for bringing me some presents, some of which I like. You are the kindest, nicest man ever and I count you as my very best friend. It's wonderful that you take the time to visit me each year but I know that you see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake 24/7.



To summarize: I did not get the Hide 'em and Find 'em plush toy with several small blue balls. On the other hand, I'm grateful for the antler chew toy and the long-needed china food bowl. I received a vintage reindeer toy but clearly that was for Maman. The candy cane chew toy's okay; it's not real candy. I was especially hoping for the I'm Beggin' Ya Treat Box (big size). But although that didn't materialize, I'm rather relieved not to have received a Burberry sweater (or for that matter any sweater).

[May I say, dear Santa, in all honesty that when it comes to the gifts, I was hoping for more?]

As for Maman and Papa, their gift experience was also mixed: no Mercedes, no 10ct. emerald cut, set in platinum diamond ring. Papa opened package after package of clothing. But he also found a Doctor Who hologram chamber and a special "Brown Betty" tea pot under the (rosemary) table top tree. And his loot included a Smiley's People DVD. Maman's hopes for Co Co Chanel perfume were rewarded. On the other hand, she has already returned her new warm winter coat. They both did receive thick warm socks.

We shared Christmas dinner with Pam, Sophie and Lily and that was wonderful. Great drink, food and conversation! Their tree was spectacular, the girls and Pam are beautiful, and everyone treated me as an honored guest. They appreciated the gifts I brought them--a cornucopia of fancy makeup, tough-cool black leather gloves for Pam, and $50 cash for each of the girls.

I have used my time this holiday season constructively. I've paid special attention to perfecting the combo winsome-wistful sideways Glance. I've steadily improved and at present the Glance is liberally rewarded with holiday treats, those reserved for doggies and those intended for strictly human consumption.

So, Santa, although I have some reservations, Christmas has been a happy holiday. I hope your Christmas was the best ever, that you in your turn received desired gifts and tasty treats, and that now you take a well deserved rest basking in the knowledge of a job well done.

I love you Santa, very very much. I hope you love me too.

Week of Woe

The Christmas holiday season is my favorite time of year. A time when I expect new toys, treats, perhaps a Christmas sweater (I chose the word "expect," not desire)

But this past week can only be described as a major downer, a week of woe. First, a routine trip to the dentist turned into major medical. Second, the resulting meds led to some seriously deceptive behavior (on the part of certain people) which I shall explain momentarily. Then to add insult to injury, today I was dragged (chose that word advisedly) to Doggie Styles, the lair of the frightening Kelly.

The dental situation is dire; I will not linger over it here. The meds, a different story. Willingly I ingested the medications three times per day for several days. Now wouldn't you expect that if one prescription expired the others would too?

Learn from my experience; meds last as long as they last. Fed up with Maman's and Papa's mendacity I tried to refused the pitiful attempts to lure me with cheese and ice cream with more or less success. Finally, this morning, at the hint of the profferred cheese and ice cream, I ran away! They couldn't believe it. I'd confounded them thoroughly and I was feeling pretty fine

In the midst of my jubilation, however, Papa lured me into the car and drove me down that loathsome road ----- to Doggie Styles (ugh). I've written about Kelly before. She is a nice woman and pretty too. But her profession dooms her to the dread-list of doggies everywhere.

Now that Christmas is only 5 days away, I can only hope that my sacrifices to (not of) Good Behavior, my acceptance of adversity with no (or little) crying or pouting, and my general good cheer will be remembered by darling Santa who act upon that accordingly.

Don't Pout, Don't Cry, Be Good

Post Script to my last:

Darling Santa, To show both honesty and contrition, two valued qualities, I must make a confession. This morning, I stole into Maman's room and made straight for the basket with cute gifts for big girls; also piled high with festive Hershey's kisses. Yes, I know I'm not allowed in Maman's room and yes, I know doggies are allergic to chocolate.

In my defense, Maman closed the door behind her as she left, but true, I was hiding out hoping she wouldn't notice me. (She didn't)

I grabbed a kiss when I had the chance. Santa, I swear (purely a figure of speech) on my dog food and my dog treats that I did not eat the chocolate! It was the candy wrapping I was after, and for a few bright moments I strewed it about for all I was worth. Maman blew into the room like a tornado, I don't know how soon after I'd begun my thrilling shredding of candy wrapping. My fun ended & victory wasn't won.

Santa, I do hope this episode doesn't compromise me in the gifts stakes. Please take into account the 364 days of 2011 that I have been and will be good.

Please refer to my previous blog posting if you've forgotten what's on my gift list.

In closing, I love you darling Santa. You're my greatest pal. I hope you're in good shape for your upcoming night time marathon. In your honor I will read my ebook pop-up version of The Night Before Christmas (available as an iPhone app) daily between now & then.

Love again, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir

Dear Santa, 2011

Dearest, darling Santa!

It's that time of the year again, time for good little doggies to be properly rewarded for their long, hard year of good behavior. Have I been naughty? No. Have I been nice? But, of course. Did I shred Maman's framed poster from London? Can I plead the 5th; after all, many of the best have.

Santa, you know how much I love you. You are friend, mentor, companion. You, at the North Pole, me at the South, we share a special bond. Often I say to myself: Santa is my best friend ever.

Well, lets get down to brass tacks. Here are the items I hope to receive from you this Christmas.

Mercury's Christmas List:

1.antler chews (the antlers fall off reindeer naturally, so don't worry about your helpers)

2. Hide 'em & Find 'em plush global balls puzzle (this IQ toy is green & blue, and each ball and the larger ball they fit into are colored green and blue like the earth. I wouldn't even ask for it if it weren't that my IQ is high enough to meet the challenge.)

3. a new bowl for my food. (Dining is always a pleasure, but think how much fun it would be if I had the appropriate china and flatware.)

4. a Burberry sweater (cashmere preferred).

5. An "I'm Beggin Ya Treat Box" (the big size)

6. a Vintage Reindeer Toy (really for Maman; she's beginning to prefer vintage; between us, we know that that signifies.)

7. a Sugar Lips Monkey Toy. (for tossing & killing when the mood strikes)


Because I'm so well behaved and unselfish I annually include some suggestions for what Maman et Papa hope to find under the Yuletide tree. They have been good though one cannot say excellent. In any case, they have not been naughty. I'm confidant you'll extend your bounty to them as well.

Papa:

He's still waiting for that Mercedes. He prefers black with the gun sight logo standing high.

New thick warm socks.

A t-shirt with a doggie logo.

Some doggie pj/s.

A board game we can play together.

Maman:

She's still waiting for that 10 ct. emerald cut diamond set solo in platinum.

New thick warm socks.

A gray & pink turtle neck sweater that zips into a v-neck sweater.

A trip to England.

A trip to Hawaii.

As a token of my appreciation, I will leave you some milk and an entire bowl full of my healthful & delicious food. It will make a welcome break from all those cookies which, in any case, are not good for your waistline.

Dearest darling Santa, I love you so much. I can hardly express how much I look forward to your yearly visits and how I value the gifts you give me. Perhaps this year you could also leave a personal letter, addressed to me. My reading skills are as advanced as my writing skills and I will not share your letter unless I have written permission from you to do so. But OH, how I would treasure such a letter; I would keep it in my little home which is entirely private and I would read it every evening before I fell asleep. Or consider visiting me during the off months. You are welcome to sleep in my home and we can play games and read with a flashlight after lights are supposed to be out.

Dear darling Santa, I hope you have a great, safe Christmas eve and visit all the deserving children & doggies in the whole world. My wish for your Christmas day is that it's joyous, full of tasty treats and sweet surprises.

Ever your very best friend, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir
(I wanted to include my personal email address but Maman won't let me have one)

P.S. I'd also like a TV for my very own and an iphone like Maman's. (and a personal email address)