Mercury's Christmas Letter to Santa, 2013

 

Dearest, darling, Santa,

    

-->     I am distressed to compose my letter at this time  when I am driving Maman to distraction with my bad behavior and just at the time when she has a few precious weeks off from her highly demanding job. I trust you will not hold it against me and not measure the dog by the behavior of a few weeks.

     This has been a harrowing year as well: I was attacked by my neighbor Chad, a large (intimidating) Chow mix. My injuries were slight but it was necessary to be driven to the doggie ER and to visit my regular doctor on Monday. Blood was drawn! Papa and Maman valiantly leapt to my aid-- Papa scooping me and Maman putting herself between Chad and Papa. In any case, that's all in the past. Chad's Mom was so kind to me and I've forgiven him; it's really not his fault.

     And in general, over the course of the last 12 months, I have tried to be as good as possible, helping Maman with her work, serving as sous-chef for Papa, cleaning my own home and suffering clothing willingly if not gladly.

     Plus, you are my very best friend. I love you more than anyone and I've missed you all year long.  Therefore, I'm hoping you'll forgive my lapses and leave me the following gifts:

Mercury's Christmas List

1 Santa Belly Gourmet Cookie Box

Peanut Butter Madness & Personalized Tote

New & pretty water bowl, preferably a 2-cup jewel tone pedestal bowl

Personalized Sequined Reindeer Tee (this to make Maman happy: note this example of good behavior)

A TV and a smart phone (preferably iPhone 5s) of my very own

A Furby (purple)

For Maman:

Old Gringoembroidered Jasmine 10" boots

For Papa:

Maman and I agree that his Mercedes (E-series, over 300-horse power, polar white with two sun roofs and satellite connection) is gift enough for 1 year (possibly more?--just a suggestion; you're the expert).  If you feel especially well disposed to Papa, he does need a new pair of socks.

     As you can see, our requests are modest this year. I am truly sorry for my bad behavior. If you only leave coal for me, I'll understand.  But please don't punish Maman for my sins. She did her best and I hope you'll leave those Old Gringo boots for her.

     Well, my darling friend, that's all for now. Is there anything that you'd like me to give you? The traditional milk and cookies? A large bowl of caviar and toast? A new suit?

     Very truly yours, with love, Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir!

PS: you can visit me and even stay for a few days. I'd be happy and honored to share my own little home. I expect that you'd like a break from the exertions of this Christmas season (I hope I'll have a TV and smart phone by that time; I'll share them with you.)

Another PS: I promise to be nicer to Kelly Noonan who after all is a wonderful groomer. Perhaps you could bring some  furniture or decorations for her luxurious new location: Doggie Styles. (note, another example of good behavior)

Semester begins with gatherings and parties

Perhaps you think that teaching at, or attending, a university, is all about books, classrooms, computers, mobile devices, homework, papers, quizes and tests, grading, office hours and etc. And you'd be (almost) right.

However, Fall 2013 started off with a round of parties.

President Jere Morehead's gathering to welcome Grady Dean Davis.  Dean Davis' party to welcome back Grady faculty and staff. Graduate Student Caucus' pizza and soft drinks (cash bar for those, like me, with appropriate documentation) get-together, and more.

What a social whirl!!

Above you see me driving my new Mercedes to 5Points Liquor Store (stocking up for the party I'm throwing) and dusting off my tux to make sure it still fits (it does).

I hope you've spent the 2nd half of August as pleasantly as I have. Looking forward to Fall Break and then to Thanksgiving Break and then to my favorite time of all, Christmas Break when my very best friend in the Universe (not just the galaxy but the Universe) will visit me once again (my darling Santa)

And, yes, we're also studying and learning to our hearts' content.

I begin year 3 as UGA Professor

The UGA term started excessively early, Monday, August 12. With campus bustling, cars roaring down our formerly quiet street, bewildered students popping out of every corner & the antics of returning students, you will understand  why, having donned my new UGA t-shirt, I've taken to my bed. 

Check back next week for more about my work as a professor. (Yawn) Au revoir for the duration til then, MM. 

Pretty Mercury, happy Papa

The Babeee is a Muse

When in Doubt, Always Choose Laughter is the latest vehicle for my favorite Big Star, known as The Babeee. You can see all his Vines if you search his director's name: Nick Confalone. Click the director's name below and,




if you can't hear sound when the new window opens, click the upper left hand corner. I certainly hope this great work of video art gives you as much pleasure as it does me. And that you'll be inspired to see how director Confalone explores universal themes via The Babeee.

Also: do not neglect to read today's other entry, below. Please post your support for Maman et Papa gifting me an iPhone of my very own. Perhaps once I have one, I too will create Vines.

My very own iPhone

Cher Maman et Papa,

Now that I am 8, it's time to buy me an iPhone of my very own. Please buy the newest version and sign me up for unlimited talk, text and data. I can take it from there. 

After all, I'm posting this entry from Maman's iPhone. 

I have a special place for it in my home.  I keep your phone there when I borrow it!

I'm willing to use AT&T to keep your billing simple. So please go to their corner store to pick up my iPhone today. 

Perhaps better if I go with you so I can choose my own stylish case. 

Love, MM

Vines

Vine is a social medium. Record 6 seconds of looping images and sound. It's a new art form! And notably Vines were featured in their own category at the 2013 TriBecA film festival.


Here are 2 examples of Vines. [Both contain sound; if you don't hear anything, take your cursor to the upper left corner of the visual where a sound icon will appear; if there's an 'X' click it to eliminate it and you'll hear the sounds.] The first is by Viner Nick Confalone, "trying to be a good dad in 6 seconds or less."




one from Tzaddi who "wakes up to experience the exquisite joy--the joy of being Salvador Dali"



There are all sorts of Vines: beautiful, raunchy, funny, serious, with all sorts of topics-- comedy, art and experimental, family, fashion, food, news, special FX, weird, cats, and yes, Dogs. Check them out including my own under the name "Elizabeth Roushanzam"  (I've used Maman's name but most of the Vines are my very own creative work. You can download the Vine app on iPhone or Google Play or read about it by clicking HERE.)

 Enjoy and Create! As always, your pal, Mercury

Blessings on my Birthday

Today is my 8th birthday.  This certificate outlines my lineage for three generations and shows that I am a rainbow mix of red, apricot and brown toy poodles.

As an aside, you, my faithful fans, know of my ultra close friendship with Santa. In pursuing knowledge of my ancestry, I've learned that my biological father and mother also enjoyed a special bond with the Man: note, their names are recorded as Saint Nicholas and Christmas Day.  Sycophantic names, indeed; but one can't choose one's family. As you know, my own abiding friendship with Santa relies on our bond of mutual respect, admiration & liking. (type Santa is the blog search bar to locate entries about our long-term relationship)

In any case, although today is my birthday, I've received no (almost no) presents. I was expecting 8, one to commemorate each year of my life. Since it's still early in the day, I've decided to post my wish list. You still have about 18 shopping hours remaining:

List of 8 possibles for Mercury's birthday gifts, 2013

A doggie cam (to hang on my collar and record events at my eye level)

A flat TV of my very own

A smart phone, iphone preferred but will accept Galaxy

A huge basket of doggie treats

Real doggie ice cream

A bone  pattern QR Tag

A Crypton Dog Earred Mess Mat

A little baby brother or little baby sister, toy or miniature French poodle, preferably red, apricot, brown or white with apricot ears

Pictured here is the one gift I did receive. Maman and Papa presented me with:   

A leather collar with a diamond and platinum charm in the shape of a Mercedes logo. Needless to say, I was dumb-founded when I opened the package. A collar (symbol of oppression), a Mercedes logo (symbol of rapacious capitalism): no food, no toy, no electronics, not even a fashionable t-shirt.

I won't say this is the worst birthday ever. I won't say I'm ungrateful for what I have received this day (food to eat, a place to sleep, a very brief walk). I won't say I'm counting on you, my fans, to resurrect this day from the doldrums to a very happy birthday high.

All I shall say is: joyeux anniversaire to me!

Mercury's Weekends: always a good time

Have you ever wondered what I do with my weekends? You might assume that, like the Dowager Duchess of Downton Abbey, dogs are indifferent to the weekend concept ("What--- is a weekend?" she inquired.) However, such is far from the case.

Week days are when I follow a routine: early to rise, AM walk, breakfast, an Acorn TV (Brit) movie, nap nap nap, PM walk, supper, a Netflix movie, nap nap nap, sleep for the night. Weekends are, by comparison, a whirl of activities. Of which this photo above signifies only a few.

Below you can watch this embedded viddy (don't worry, it's not really "post apocalypse," that's just Maman's little joke). Then follow the links below (Park 1 and Park 2) to catch just a few seconds glimpse of  each of various outdoor pursuits.

Park 1 (always a good time)

Park 2 (take me to your best friend's house)

Later, of a Saturday or Sunday, I may go for a long drive (in my double sun roofed Mercedes--more on that to come), stop by Five Points to shop for ingredients for cocktails and an al fresco meal. And later don my tux for an evening on the town.

In short, weekends are crazy times-- fun-filled, but hectic, a mad dash, a rush of company, community, sporting events and the seemingly ceaseless round of pleasure ! Thank goodness for the week days when I can relax, returning to the simple life that all dogs treasure as their greatest purpose and their absolute right.

My Grandmere's Special Insight

Maman et Papa thrust me into a crate on my very first night in my new home.

It was early November. I'd endured a 13 hour airplane flight (changed in Dallas), pick up at the freight gate at Hartsfield-Jackson, 1 1/2 hour drive from Atlanta to Athens. And believe me, none of it was first class.

Exhausted and terrified describes us all, me, Maman et Papa. I vividly recall that it was still light out when Maman et Papa drew the (flimsy) curtains, plopped me in my crate, stretched out on their comfortable futon and whispered together, waiting for me to fall asleep.

I overheard this exchange: Maman, "animals always go to sleep when it's dark and quiet." Papa, "should we drape a cloth over the crate?" Maman, "too like a bird cage, but be very very quiet and she'll think it's night." So humiliating for all concerned.

Eight years later, my crate has been transformed into a loft. I have a snuggly bed and I've been promised a TV of my very own. My food is served in a (NYC) Museum of Modern Art bowl and my water goblet is Mondrian patterned.

But they say the more things change, the more they stay the same (in my native tongue: plus ca change, plus ca meme chose; Sorry, no French language key board). Grandmere may not be my biggest fan, but she's a realist and we share a bond of common sense that seems to be otherwise lacking in the Lester Roushanzamir clan. Here's the evidence; she clipped this from the Wall Street Journal and mailed it to me:

[it reads: I'd have to say the biggest lie they tell themselves is 'Oh he likes the crate!'...unbelievable.]

How often have I heard that absurd phrase, "Oh, she likes her crate," and how often have I cringed at its rank absurdity. Still, I suppose Maman et Papa mean well.

And admittedly, they shake and serve a good stiff martini.  Please make it a double.

Helper Doggie

Most of you recognize me as a helper doggie. For those who don't, I wear a helper dog uniform (as seen in the photo).

But perhaps you are not aware that my helper duties are many and varied. See several in this photo/music collage:





Here I serve as sou-chef, bed chamber maid and neighborhood guard dog. And these are but 3 of my many duties.

So next time you see a uniformed helper doggie, please give them the respect they're due. Their skills and talents, like mine, are extraordinary.

Note: you can also view the collage, full screen, by clicking HERE.

My Prince

Today is Father's Day. In honor of my Grandpere who insists on believing that I'm a boy, this video, titled My Prince:



Happy Father's Day to the best Grandpere in the Universe. Love, Murph

Qwiki & my pal Coco

I have a pal, Coco. He's a beautiful fellow, inside and out. He's a dog about whom the phrase "man's best friend" could have been written. Words that describe Coco: mellow, smart, open-minded, friendly, a lover of classic rock and film noir, a loving, kind soul.

Click on my link below to see my brief tribute.

click: Coco's Qwiki visuals with music

Secret Garden

There's an old street, Milledge Avenue, that leads to Athens' 5Points. It's studded with classic southern mansions and older brick homes, most but not all, now housing the sororities and fraternities of UGA undergraduate students. One of these spectacular brick houses appeared to be unoccupied. Original wavey, handblown (?) glass covered the windows, its heavy shutters would keep out the highest winds.

Next door? A secret garden. Bricked in except from the sides, Maman was reluctant to tresspass. Thankfully, one spring morning, I persuaded her.

We may have been among the final visitors for soon, heavy construction implements were rolled in & the secret garden was razed. Now there stands a tasteful but nonetheless brand spanking new mud-brick house, home to many college boys and with a spacious parking lot for their SUVs, Jeeps, and sporty BMWs.

The secret garden was dark and cool, almost magical in its offerings of pretty plants,  mossy rocks, winding pathways and near silence. What a refuge, right off Milledge Avenue, what Maman refers to as the "noisy street," Athens' central north-south through-way. And finally, we stumbled across a small marble seat, placed as if for us only. An oasis for us alone.

The brick house still stands but it seems to be an administrative structure, a house mother of sorts for the brand new frat house. The boys hire a service to keep up their lawn and landscaping, their cars are hidden from view and it's all a nice bit of urban planning.

But my ever lasting thanks to Maman for permitting me to survey the secret garden, now only a memory. In the photo above, you can see the pathway into our very own secret garden, my back yard.

Rumors or Facts

A quick google search of the word rumor unearths this definition: "A currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth." You will be the judge of whether what follows is rumor or fact.

Maman and I enjoy editing iPhone photographs and we have downloaded many apps, searching for the greatest flexibility and the combination of apps that will yield photos that match our mental images: rumor or fact?

The photo above, like many photos taken by amateurs, professionals and artists alike, reveal truths that were previously hidden: rumor or fact?

Maman and I are exceptionally talented iPhotographers (still and audio-video): rumor or fact?

Existing in this black & white (blue tinged black) keeps us cooler on this hottest day of summer 2013: rumor or fact?

You be the judge(s).

View our photographs on twitter (Roushanzamir_Ad) and Vine (Elizabeth Roushanzam)

School's Out for Summer

Greetings Fans,

Last night I took a trip back through time. The year was 2006, the entry date of my first blog post. How small and insignificant I was and yet what chutzpa! To think that I would usurp the power of the keyboard from Maman, to give voice to my heretofore private thoughts and feelings in a forum of global, perhaps even universal, reach (and frequency). So on this humid May morning, let's reflect on past accomplishments, review the accomplishments of the past, and renew our (my) commitment to enriching the lives of all with whom I come into contact.

Your friend, Mercury Murphy