First, thank you for agreeing to meet with me last week. We had a rewarding conversation and I'll just reiterate the salient points and clarify a few others.
Please remember that I've been ever so good this year. Any minor offenses are attributed to irresistible impulse (that's actually a defense to murder under the law) so they're really not my fault (if indeed I did them after all).
Also, take into consideration the wear and tear wrought by an extremely stressful election with dubious outcomes, hence the long list. I shall say no more about that.
With all due respect, love, and hope, my List:
---PetChatz: a complete interactive and engagement audio/visual system that would let me press a button to ring Maman on her iphone so she can dispense treats and calming scents from wherever she might be (as well as engage in some idle chat)
---an iphone of my very own (I'm willing to take a 6S)
--Feliz Navidog Dog Tee (red)
--Burberry sweaters (2), a Burberry winter coat and a faux fur "puppy and me" scarf for dogs
--L.A. Dog Chevron Faux Fur Cuddle Donut Dog Bed
--personalized Santa-belly gourmet cookie box
--Hugglehounds candy cane cuddle tuffet toy (the small size) & Hugglefleece Ball dog toy (small)
--2 Fiesta Petware bowls, one cobalt, one turquoise plus a Dog Bone Water Guard Rim place-mat (preferably personalized)
As you know, my friend, I always include a few requests for Maman et Papa. At this Noel, I shall keep those lists brief.
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*Papa:
a set of real chef's knives
Maman:
iphone 7 (pink finish)
ipad Pro (9.7 inches, gold finish) & a Smart Cover (the Product (Red) color)
Woven Nylon Apple Watch band (the pink & gray color)
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Finally, my best pal, Santa, I hope you've rested well (and eaten and exercised properly) all year long so that your global quest to assure that all good boys and girls receive their gifts is not impeded by ill-health or exhaustion. To that end, I promise to leave some tasty treats for you (water to drink, you must stay hydrated).
As a special bonus this year---and in light of our misunderstanding in the previous year---I have a special gift for you. (it's a surprise -- open it only after you've delivered all the other gifts in every land in the world)
Again, with all due respect, love, and hope, your very best friend in the whole wide universe,
Mercury Murphy Roushanzamir
* This year papa graciously acceded to the girls of the household's many wishes, feeling that the only recently-past political season has been particularly hard on women; he asked me to make it crystal clear that he'll be completely satisfied with the requested set of real chef's knives.
