Dear, Darling Santa,
Remember me?
I've waited abominably long this year to write my letter. However, let's cut to the chase: brief & to the point. I've been good all year long, whether sleeping or waking, I haven't cried nor have I begged, nor pouted. [no time to present the evidence; please take my word for it.]
Therefore with confidence, I offer my Christmas list and, as proof of my selfless [almost] nature, I've include lists for Maman et Papa. [I can only assume and sincerely hope that these lists truly reflect their desires.]
What I want for Christmas:
1 octopus stuffed toy
as many balls as possible
some tasty dental treats
and the biggest raw-hide bone available
Affection-Affection-Affection Papa's list:
1 Mercedes [C-series]
1 fancy crystal bowl
1 valuable antique
shirts that don't shrink [note: Maman does the laundry....]
Dearest Maman's list:
a fancy dress in cloth of gold
an iPhone [twice the speed, 1/2 the price]
a European cake
Harry Winston jewelry
[don't look in the Paris store which, just in case you don't know, was knocked over & cleaned out by world-class thieves]
Dearest Santa, I love you very much and think of you all year long. I hope you fulfill all of our wishes. But please do note that my requests are the most modest, therefore [I assume] the most probable.
By the way, if you prefer certain kinds of cookies, or a beverage other than milk with which to refresh yourself before you leave our home, please let me know by writing a comment on my blog.
With all due respect and ever so much love, your friend Mercury Murphy
